A dream come true

The beginning

At a very young age, I was forced to say goodbye to the place I was born in, the place where I attended my first years of school, and move with my mother to the country where my father lived.

My father used to visit me and my mother every two years or so and stay for a month or two and leave, so it was my first time to live in the same house with a father and a mother. I started going to school in a country where the language was strange to my ears. Lucky for me, teaching was done in English.

Not so long later that year, my little and only brother was born. I was very eager to return home from school everyday just to see him and enjoy the company of this little creature with tiny body parts. He was probably the first friend I made in this new place. It took me a while to adjust and fit in at school.

My father was a bit strict when it comes to education and studies, therefore, he made sure that I didn’t settle for anything less than the first rank holder. It was a bit stressful to me as I needed to meet his expectations and wanted to make him feel proud of my achievements. I might have thought that me doing less was the reason we weren’t living together all the previous years.

I was the smart but the very unstylish girl at school. My mother was a little careless regarding my dressing and hairdo. Don’t get me wrong, she sacrificed her life for me. She would kill for me. She just didn’t think of me looking all posh at school or anywhere else at that age appropriate. Little did she know how much that affected me. I used to feel less of a girl. Unseen. I was forced to pretend to choose being that way. I pretended to prefer being a tomboy, while deep inside I was burning to look as pretty as the other girls, to get love letters, to be told I look pretty, to be chosen for yearbook cover pictures or to be on stage, even though I was shy to do that anyways.

I was even crushing over a boy and I was only 12. I was falling deeper in his love every single day even though I was sure he would never even look at me. He was not like the other boys. He was 3 years older than me. He had a lot of charisma. He dressed up like a man. He was extraordinarily smart, outspoken, loved by all his teachers and classmates. He actively participated in everything. His quotes were all over the place and on every board in the school.

Wherever he went, I made sure I did too! The science lab, the library, the school auditorium, the soccer field, the basketball court, I ditched lots and lots of classes to catch up. My grades were going down. Parents were losing their minds. But it is what it is. I thought of him all night long and followed him around all day long. Watching him live his best life and hanging around with all the pretty girls, having laughs and jokes, and not noticing that I was like his shadow was breaking my little heart. I was invisible to him.

To be continued…